we all have stories we'll never tell

new favorite song; just because of how perfectly i can relate to it.
 
manage me, i'm a mess.
turn the page, i'm a book, half unread.
i wanna be laughed at, laughed with, just because.
i wanna feel weightless, and that should be enough.
 
but i'm stuck in this fuc.king rut
waiting on a secondhand pick-me-up
and i'm over, getting older
 
if i could just find the time
then i would never let another day go by
i'm over, getting old
 
maybe it's not my weekend,
but it's gonna be my year
and i'm so sick of watching all the minutes pass as i go nowhere
so this is my reaction
to everything that i fear
cause i've been going crazy and i don't wanna waste another minute here
 
make believe that i impress
that every word
by design
turns a head
 
i wanna feel reckless,
wanna live it up just because
i wanna feel weightless,
cause that would be enough
 
if i could just find the time
i would never let another day go by
i'm over, getting old
 
maybe it's not my weekend,
but it's gonna be my year
cause i'm so sick of watching all the minutes pass as i go nowhere
 
and this is my reaction
to everything that i fear
cause i've been going crazy i don't wanna waste another minute here
 
this could be all that i've waited for
and this could be everything
i don't wanna dream anymore
 
maybe it's not my weekend
but it's gonna be my year
and i've been going crazy
i'm stuck in here
 
maybe it's not my weekend,
but it's gonna be my year
cause i'm so sick of watching all the minutes pass as i go nowhere
 
and this is my reaction
to everything that i fear
cause i've been going crazy i don't wanna waste another minute here.
 

 
it's just perfect.

this libya stuff makes me want to throw up.
i can't even believe it.
 
a couple other things might be adding to the wanting-to-throw-up thing too, cough people not talking to me, and people being mad at me? [not positive, but my dream last night made it pretty da.mn clear and they didn't respond to my text either. plus the stress. i think i'm going to work on that story. i just can't ever get myself to start. once i start, it all comes. it's just the starting that kills me.
 
http://xfakeasmile.tumblr.com
http://xfakeasmile.tumblr.com
http://xfakeasmile.tumblr.com

we had this amazing assembly yesterday, by dr. michael fowlin. everybody thought it was going to be two hours of boredom because they told us it was an anti-bullying assembly, but once it started everybody realized it was so much more than that. dr. fowlin put on a one man show showing different types of people, and made fun of himself a lot, just to show the kind of stupidity the world was made of. some of the stuff he said was really strong, about fake masks we as people put on, and at one point in the assembly a girl a few seats in front of me ran out of the room crying. everyone looked at each other differently after the assembly. people asked each other if they were okay, and there was a huge line to hug dr. fowlin after the assembly. he kept talking about the golden gate bridge during his presentation, and how it was the number one public suicide spot in the country, with thousands of people having died there. only about 25 have survived. and out of all the survivors, he said, every single one of them said the same thing when they were healed. that about halfway down, they knew they had made a mistake and didn't want to die. he said all of these amazing things, he talked about his six year old daughter and dreams and family, and then he told us he was one of those 25 survivors.
 
it really makes you think.

i cant explain

i haven't made a set in forever.
 
this year's been really weird.

we're not in second grade anymore. some people really need to grow up.
 
this could so easily turn into a rant, but too many rl people on here. sorry.
 
ps-i saw joanie the other day at the park :) that was nice. and i saw emily at the high school the other day too.. i miss them </3. I think we need a reunion sometime soon..